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I'm Sarah. I'm sustained like Gustave Flaubert and I think Sartre was right about Hell.

yogisarah [at] gmail [dot] com

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4 November 09
2 November 09

Parental Phone Calls

Do you ever have the experience where you are talking on the phone with one of your parents and they just keep talking and talking and talking about something that you have no interest in and are actually vaguely irritated by, like, for example, college football (dad edition) or how some people are such bad parents (mom edition) and you can’t even get in a word; like they won’t let you even quickly lie and say “someone just stepped into my office” or “I’m getting another call;” and you just sit on the phone waiting and then the irritation somehow starts to become tangible, as it to take up actuall mass, and it starts to creap through your ear like prickly heat and make you start to feel hot and faint and you just want to replace the phone in its receiver as you hear the voice talk and talk and talk but get fainter and fainter and fainter, and it starts to seems like hanging up would be the simplest solution.  They probably wouldn’t notice and would just keep talking.  Or later you could just say that it was a bad connection.

Or is it just me?

Posted: 1:59 PM

Query

Why didn’t anyone bring any damn Halloween candy to work today?

30 October 09

Here's something you don't hear everyday

I think I look too much like a woman to pull off a Robert Plant costume.

Posted: 4:41 PM

Test Kitchen II: Duetcheprufungkuche

Spargelsuppe

Flammekuche

Aprikosenhuche

Weil heute, Ich verfuhle in der Schweiz zu wohnen.

Posted: 4:04 PM

I just told a co-worker I was going to be Robert Plant for Halloween and he said “that’s a good costume!”  As the conversation went on, it became evident that he thought I had said I was going to be “A Rubber Plant.”  What?

Posted: 3:10 PM

WHEREAS, the great city of St. Louis is the home of the world’s largest mustache, the Gateway Arch; and

WHEREAS, the learned citizens of St. Louis have demonstrated a keen appreciation for a handsome mustache, realizing that that a well-fashioned lip sweater knows no bounds of race, creed or color; and

WHEREAS, since its incorporation in 1965, the St. Louis-based American Mustache Institute has, with good humor served as the ACLU of the Mustached American people, fighting to propagate the Mustached American lifestyle on an international stage; and

WHEREAS, American Mustache Institute will reunite music legend John Oates with his mustache at ‘Stache Bash 2009, a celebration of the mustache that benefits St. Louis Challenger Baseball, a local baseball league for children and adults with disabilities; and

WHEREAS, the good people of Schnucks will recognize this great day by adorning mustaches throughout their store; and

WHEREAS, AMI will be announcing at ‘Stache Bash the winner of the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award, an honor on par with the Nobel Peace Prize and the Daytime Emmys in its prestige, scope and gravity, and

WHEREAS, it is my great pleasure to welcome everyone who has eagerly awaited “Mustache Day 2009” and congratulate those participating in ‘Stache Bash 2009 at the Orpheum Theater in downtown St. Louis, and I thank each and every one of you for your support of this worthy cause.

Now, therefore, I, Francis G. Slay, Mayor of the City of St. Louis, do hereby proclaim October 30, 2009, as:

“MUSTACHE DAY”
IN THE CITY OF ST. LOUIS

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused to be affixed the seal of the City of St. Louis, this 30th day of October, A.D. 2009.

Mayor Slay officially declares today “Mustache Day” in St. Louis, signed in the downtown Schnucks Culinaria with John Oates (and mustache).

RELATED: My acquaintance Christian interviewed John Oates about his mustache for the RFT.

I just wish they had called them “Mustachioed Americans” instead of ”Mustached Americans.”  Maybe they found it too ethnic? 

(via wellrespected)

Reblogged: wellrespected

Posted: 3:04 PM

All by my se-e-elf

This weekend my ex-husband is in town and tonight I have a rare night completely alone in my apartment!  I’m quite excited.  Check out my awesome plans:

1.  Turn my kitchen into America’s Test Kitchen, or, perhaps I should call it “Fat Ammie’s Test Kitchen” based on what I’m planning to make, by trying a couple of delicious and unhealthy-looking recipes from The Pioneer Woman.  That woman’s food photography is ridiculously gorgeous and makes me want to make absolutely everything she makes.  Also, reading about her cowboy husband makes me grateful that I’m not romantically involved with an American—no offense PW! 

2.  Put together my Robert Plant costume.  I’m really doing it, you guys!  Of course, I will be wearing my usual dorkass mom attire while trick-or-treating with Spiderman and his pal Batwoman, but once 5-year-olds are safely out of viewing range, I’m turning into a traveller of both time and space, baby!  I believe this will be a spin on the usual “sexy” Halloween costume because I’ll be sexy*…but a MAN, the man I learned what it meant to be in the days of my youth.  Hopefully, much like the actual Robert Plant, I will cause all who see me to question their sexuality.  It’s what I do best!

3.  Take a BATH in HOT WATER!  Hell yeah!

4.  Read Player Piano (time and sobriety permitting)

*Questionable…

Posted: 10:10 AM
Robert Plant circa Led Zeppelin
My unintentional Halloween costume today due to wet hair-frizzing weather and wearing of skinny jeans.  I’ve got my shirt buttoned up though.

Robert Plant circa Led Zeppelin

My unintentional Halloween costume today due to wet hair-frizzing weather and wearing of skinny jeans.  I’ve got my shirt buttoned up though.

29 October 09

How to Find Kurt Vonnegut and Robert Graves books at Central Library

1.  Receive directions to the “Popular Library.”  Find only God Bless You Mister Rosewater.  Receive directions to “Humanities.”

2.  Finally find “Humanities.”  Receive directions to plays written in the Cyrillic alphabet.  Tell librarian both authors write in English, no translation.  Receive directions to the “Stacks.”

3.  Attempt to get into Stacks.  Find out you need a Stacks Pass.  Exchange library card for Stacks pass - a badge you hang around your neck.  Go behind library desk and enter dark, dank, 80 degree “Stacks.”  Ask a man shelving books where fiction and literature is.  Be directed two floors up.  Notice, with trepedation, than many books are behind bars.  Find Vonnegut.  Pick out 6 because there is no way you are coming back here ever again.  Find Graves.  Audibly sigh with relief that they have I, Claudius.

4.  Attempt to exit Stacks.  Find dead end to left.  Find dead end to right.  Go into hall.  Find bearded man staring at you with confusion.  Ask how to get out of the stacks.  Be directed two floors up.

5.  Walk up two flights of stairs.  Wipe sweat from brow.  Cough asbestos out of lungs.

6.  Take books to circulation desk.  Discover you have $20.45 in library fines.  Pay fines.  Flee. 

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh