About
I'm Sarah. I'm sustained like Gustave Flaubert and I think Sartre was right about Hell.Following
There is a Maker’s Mark billboard right when you get on Highway 40 from downtown. I can’t take a picture of it without crashing my car and I can’t find it on the internet so I will describe it to you. It says “Gateway to Bourbon” and it has a bottle of Maker’s Mark pouring out in the shape of the Gateway Arch.
So true. Both in the sense that Maker’s Mark is a shitty and therefore “gateway” bourbon and in the sense that living in St. Louis will drive one to drink.
See y’all at the Pageant Box Office at 5 p.m.
My living room is no longer done in “poop tones”!
Oh Chicago. You will always stay a Second City so long as you keep stuffing your Thanksgiving turkeys with White Castles.
Lunchtime vignettes from Home Depot.
1. Paint Lady 1 and Paint Lady 2, both thin, 60ish, and wearing “10 years of service” badges.
PL1: I can’t be in there ‘cause she just spray painted in there!
PL2: I do it ‘cause it gets me high! It’s my only joy in working here anymore.
PL1 (to me): She doesn’t realize she’s losing the only friend she has on the South side!
2. An irritated-looking woman on a cell phone next to her sheepish-looking husband who is looking at paint chips.
Woman (into phone): Dave painted the wood trim with primer and I didn’t want to paint the wood trim. How do we fix it?
——
Woman (to husband): Water based?
Husband: ….latex….
Woman (into phone): Latex. Uh huh. What? Goof Off or Goop Off?
Now that I have been a homeowner for one week and counting, I have had the pleasure of a plumber whom I had hired only to fix a leak telling me that all my pipes are rusty and he would have to go in through the walls and floor to replace them and that it was not healty for me to drink or cook with my water. Of course, this was all untrue. I mean, I did have the place inspected after all.
Still, I may have believed him had he not ended his diatribe by quoting me a large sum and then saying (imagine Bosnian accent and traditional Bosnian YELL) “I don’t know if you can pay! Maybe you work extra and save moneys because I don’t think you have husband! I don’t know, maybe you have boyfriend can pay!”
My boyfriend recently got a large tax return, but when I asked he wasn’t very keen on using it to “pay for plumbing!”
In any case, the inspector came back and confirmed that my pipes were fine and my water was safe, to which I responded: “Oh good! Now I can cook for boyfriend!”
It never ends. Ever. The only way out of the rabbit hole is arson.vb:
The tile installation is today and tomorrow (and possibly part of Friday). Here’s what was found between the subfloor and a layer of OSB.
Where does this rabbit hole end?!
So, the name of this is maybe a bit of an oversell. Just maybe though. Still, it should be fascinating and it goes to a very good cause. See you there, St. Louisans.
New mad men furniture. Sherif as Don Draper.
“This is the best restaurant in the WORLD because it has the goodest food.”
-S, age 5
