November 2010
6 posts
Mother Madness →
I love this article.
bluenemesis:
“Spend every moment with your child? Make your own baby food and use cloth diapers?Erica Jong wonders how motherhood became such a prison for modern women.”
“Pirvate Banking?! Is that where you go to the bank naked?”
– S, on Private Banking. We have been discussing what activities and parts of the body are “private” so much that now even the word “private” has become titillating.
Ke$ha
Late last night:
Me: Want to see Ke$ha at the Pageant in February?
M: Is this a trick question?
Early this morning:
M: Was it a dream, or did you actually ask me if I wanted to see Ke$ha last night?
October 2010
20 posts
“nachts, wenn das pendel der liebe schwingt
zwischen immer und nie,
stösst dein...”
– Paul Celan
Dan Savage: In Your Image →
I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by my comments.
No, wait. I’m not. Gay kids are dying. So let’s try to keep things in perspective: Fuck your feelings.
A question: Do you “support” atheist marriage? Interfaith marriage? Divorce and remarriage? All are legal, all go against Christian and/or traditional ideas about marriage, and yet there’s no “Christian” movement to deny marriage rights to...
Breaking News: Pumpkin Stencils
I just found out that all those really pretty looking pumpkins with Frankenstein’s head or haunted houses carved all intricate on them are just made from stencils!!! I totally thought everyone had suddenly become super art-skilled vis a vis pumpkins. I feel better now.
Shouts and Murmurs: Three Things to do When... →
I’m going to start answering my phone, “Long Dong Silver residence” no matter who is calling.
Sparkling Pants: duly noted that sporting the... →
sparklingpants:
Good stuff from mavieenrose, with essential links:
“… i am imploring you to think about what else you can do other than wearing purple. donate some money to nclr, lambda, tldef, the trevor project, or any other lgbt rights organization that you support. volunteer your time at your…
On the pain of being an adult child of divorced...
I just had to listen to each of my parents separately describe the plot of last week’s “Raising Hope” in excruciating detail.
“Although he’d played D.C. often enough over the years, its horizontality...”
– Richard Katz’s inner monologue on D.C. in Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom
“But at least this is an actual place. Washington’s all abstraction. ...”
– Walter, in Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom
Maybe its because we are both from St. Louis that we look at Washington the same way. No, it’s probably just because we are both human beings.
Train (the Band)
Can someone tell me what the deal is with the band Train? Particularly, why do I feel like punching someone in the face anytime I hear one of their songs?
September 2010
32 posts
An unpopular opinion that I hold
If you did not make the crust, you cannot claim to have made the pie.
S wants to get something off his chest
J is not a nice kid. He and S said the book I made was for babies! But it’s not for babies. It is a grown up book. It has bad words in it. Like “shut up”! A laughed, and I said “sort of funny, but not really funny.” Then J said, “your mom and dad made the words, not you.” And I said, “No! I made the words!” and J said...
S: My brother is coming. Not Simeon, and not Richard, but a guy who died and who is living again.
Me: A Zombie? The Living Dead?
S: Yes. He’s coming to visit us.
Me: From Zombieland?
S: No. From his grave.
…..
S: So you’d better run!
Imaginary Tats
S has two imaginary brothers, Richard and Simeon. Of the two, Simeon is the more talked about. Tonight, while he was taking his bath (and thus highly aware of the human anatomy) S was telling me all about Simeon’s tattoos.
“Simeon has tattoos all over his arms and his legs. They look like bones. Like a human skeleton!”
Sounds pretty badass, right?
But then…
...
Nice
My 6 year old just took a pic of me putting him to bed and then blogged it.
Poll: 1 in 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus →
“We asked people of varying races, ages, and backgrounds the same question: ‘What is President Barack Obama?’” Pew spokeswoman Jodi Miller told reporters. “And a fifth of them responded, ‘A cactus.’”
L'il Nietzche
S: Did God make the world?
Me: Some people believe that.
S: But now God is dead.
Me: ….
S: Is God dead?
Me: I don’t know.
Me: (to my Mom) To be considered hilarious by a 6-year-old all you have to do is describe the exact opposite of reality.
Me: (to S) I walk on my hand and I write with my feet!
S: (laughing) Wow! You’re like Shel Silverstein!
“Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you’re gay, and have AIDS.”
– My brother, on Tom Hanks’s Oscar-winning career.
"Rare wombat finds itself ever more alone"
natashavc:
What are you doing to me National Geographic subscription?
"No Telling" or Goddamn it pre-school teachers!
Last year at S’s pre-school the teachers got tired of hearing constant tattles—“he said he didn’t want to be my friend”, “he took my book”, “he’s breathing wrong”, etc. So, they put up a sign next to their famous “No Whining” sign that said “No Telling.” This caused myriad problems. The tattlers continued...
Amazing Race Contestant Gets Hit in Head With... →
Because I am basically Jeri Blank without the awesome Comfort Zone wardrobe, I found this video highly amusing.
Did you know 3 is the new 2?
Sexist Pandora
You never play Hole on my Nirvana station but you play Nirvana ALL THE TIME on my Hole station.
Mix and Match Professions for Romantic Comedy...
FEMALE
Style Reporter, The Chicago Post
Monkey Handler, San Diego Zoo
Restaurant Critic, Milwaukee Life Magazine
Nuclear Physicist
Ambulatory Beer Vendor, Fenway Park
Professional Organizer
MALE
Minor League Hokey Player, Providence Narwhals
Sports Reporter, The Chicago Post
Motivational Speaker
Professional Asshole
Executive Chef, Brad’s of Milwaukee
Janitor by Day, Rock...